I can taste the flavor of dirt in the grass while I am lying on the bottom of a dog pile. My then five-year old son, Reece (now 9), and the rest of his soccer team have just won their final game of the season. It was during this moment that I realized coaching is an ideal way for me to invest in others and bond with my son.
I did not begin the season as Reece’s soccer coach but was able to work with him in our backyard regarding technique and going through different drills. I marveled at his improvement throughout the season and I knew it was a direct result of our practicing in the yard. The season progressed and his team had yet to win game and Reece had not scored a goal despite his hustle and tough defense. However, the last game of the season was upon us and his coach could not make the game due to military duty. As a result, the other parents asked if I would fill in as the coach for the final game and I agreed. I was nervous yet excited at the same time. A mixture of emotions I’ve become quite familiar with.
My nervousness faded quickly as I watched Reece get tripped up by a member of the opposing team and he came off of the field crying. As his dad and now his coach, I knew this would be a defining moment for him. I locked eyes with him and encouraged him to overcome this adversity and get back on the field and do his best. Reece’s eyes went from wide and anxious to a determined squint as he ran back onto the field.
As is typical with most young boys soccer games, almost every member of each team was surrounding the soccer ball much like a pack of starving wolves surrounds its prey. I watched Reece disappear into the pack and suddenly the soccer ball escaped the fray and Reece began to hunt it down. Reece caught up with the ball began dribbling the ball toward the goal. The pack trailed behind him but Reece was on a mission. As he approached the goal he came up to his next obstacle, the goalie. With the pack on his tail, he had to make the quick decision to put his best foot forward with a big kick. The poor goalie didn’t have a chance as the ball whizzed right by him and was buried in the net. As his teammates celebrated Reece glanced at me with pure joy in his eyes.
At halftime of the game, those eyes turned into disappointment. Following Reece’s goal, the opposing team scored three unanswered points which is a large lead in a soccer game. The team mirrored Reece’s disappointment and was very discouraged. One of the players said, “We aren’t good enough to win a game.” After hearing comments like this I knew this moment was not only a time for me to give a pep talk but hopefully teach an important lesson.
I began to talk to the kids about attitude and how it’s a choice. From there I mentioned how much each player had grown as a soccer player and that they were all winners and good enough to beat this team. As I preached, I began to see a little enthusiasm seep out of the team as their hope was being resurrected. In addition to my speech, I coached them on playing tougher defense and not allowing the other team to score. For the first time all season, I saw a team and not just a bunch of boys. They began to encourage one another and were ready for the second half of the game.
Right away, I saw a team that played as if they were one person. Suddenly, each player knew his role and it paid off immediately with two quick goals. The score was now tied at three and there was still a lot of game to play. The seeds I planted about playing tough defense produced a harvest as the team had shutout the opposing team in the second half. With just over a minute to play in the game, I was content that the kids could feel good about a tie and be proud of their effort.
Just as that thought raced through my mind, Reece raced right by me on the sideline and stole the ball from an opposing player. With the look of grit on his face and dirt clots flying from his Nike cleats, Reece scored the game-winning goal and the game was over. I immediately ran onto the field to celebrate the excitement and before I knew I was caught up in a wave of kids. Reece and I both fell to the ground as the rest of the team piled on top of us in celebration. In that joyous moment, Reece and I once again locked eyes and the chaos surrounding us seemed to stand still as we both banked that memory away.
These days, the flavor of grass and dirt is replaced with the tang of leather and sweat as I coach Reece’s basketball team. There’s nothing like leading a group of people and building a team. I love sports and investing my time to build character and skills in others. That said, my favorite part of coaching will always be found in my son’s eyes. That look that says, “I’m so happy you’re my dad.†You can’t beat it.
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I downloaded the latest project from Derek Webb from iTunes titled, “one zero.” It’s a remix of some of his best songs and it sounds incredible. Actually, there’s another album by the same title that’s an acoustic version. The remixed version of the song “Mockingbird” sounds amazing. My favorite Derek Webb song, “Wedding Dress” was pretty good too but not much different than the original- which is actually a good thing.
My wife and I were watching our American Idol this week and both commented how sad it was that so many people think that singing is what they were born to do when clearly it’s not. This is why I appreciate Simon Cowell- he often tells these folks they should find another path because singing is not for them. Often, those rejected react one of three ways: